Just like people, families come in all shapes and sizes. Families have all kinds of patterns – broken, abusive, conflictive, supportive, controlling, loving, abandoning, hostile, accepting, unforgiving – in some sort of mixture of positive and negative characteristics. Everyone comes from a family.
We learn from our families the patterns of behavior, communication, interaction with ourselves and with others that, knowingly and unknowingly, we repeat in our lives and relationships. The patterns are ingrained in the fabric of our being – both good and bad. Even when we determine not to repeat the unwanted actions – we do. When interaction in the family reaches a level of dysfunction one or more of the members acts out in ways that restore the dysfunctional normalcy to the family.
In counseling, reviewing your family(ies) of origin and seeing the patterns of communication and interaction can help you see what works in a healthy way and what might need to be changed. The therapist helps you discover and learn skills that lead to a healthier interaction within your immediate family, and, if possible, even with your family of origin.